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Friday, November 23, 2007


Feelings, do you ever have those days where your feelings get the best of you in certain situations? Today has been one of those days for me! I spent quite a bit of love, time and put my heart into a certain person to have it kind of crumble tonight. I realize that I really have no control over the situation, but in no way does it make it any easier to deal with at least on my end! I just think it sucks that some people cannot grow and learn from situations. That there is not enough room or love in their hearts to allow other people to get close.

Once we grow up and have children they ask questions and as a parent or a mother it is our job or duty to explain these things to our children IMO. I never once denied my son of his father EVER! Not even when there were year gaps between the times we heard from him and we received no child support. I do not care how many questions I had to answer from my son about his father or his sisters or any of that I dealt with and answered the questions!! It is not my place to stand between him and his father period end of discussion. I will NOT be the person who puts a wall between the boy and his father. The boy's father will do it himself there is no need for me to be a bad guy too!

I really wish she would realize I only want to be a friend to her and that I love her son like one of my own. I have no need for him to call me momma I never did and never wanted it that way. I just have my heartbroken now and I will not give it out so freely next time. I feel badly for my children who cry for him and it makes me upset that I allowed them to get so close. They talk about him frequently they are older so they remember more and ask a lot more questions.

This this is why Tracey if you read this I stopped talking to you. No this post is not about you, but I could not allow myself to love your children and our friendship the way I did to have it ripped away like it was so often, my heart can no longer take it!